{"id":7529,"date":"2022-02-22T08:18:30","date_gmt":"2022-02-22T14:18:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theclarion.org\/?p=7529"},"modified":"2022-02-22T08:18:30","modified_gmt":"2022-02-22T14:18:30","slug":"love-shouldnt-hurt-ever-52","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/test.theclarion.org\/?p=7529","title":{"rendered":"Love shouldn\u2019t hurt – ever"},"content":{"rendered":"

Choose You<\/strong>
\nBy Teresia\u00a0 Smith<\/em><\/p>\n

Remember a few years ago when Frozen was the most popular kids movie and every little girl knew all the words to the song \u201cLet it Go\u201d and you could hear them singing it everywhere over and over? Have you ever actually read the lyrics and wondered what was being let go?
\nHere\u2019s an excerpt of some of the lyrics: <\/strong>
\n\u201cThe wind is howling like this swirling storm inside. Couldn\u2019t keep it in, heaven knows I\u2019ve tried. Don\u2019t let them in, don\u2019t let them see; Be the good girl you always have to be. Conceal, don\u2019t feel, don\u2019t let them know\u201d. \u201c\u201cIt\u2019s funny how some distance makes everything seem small. And the fears that once controlled me can\u2019t get to me at all\u201d. \u201c\u201cAnd one thought crystallizes like an icy blast. I\u2019m never going back, the past is in the past\u201d. \u201c\u201cLet it go, let it go. Can\u2019t hold it back anymore.<\/p>\n

Let it go, let it go. Turn away and slam the door. I don\u2019t care what they\u2019re going to say. Let the storm rage on. The cold never bothered me anyway\u201d.
\nSounds like Elsa spent a lot of time trying to be what she thought others expected her to be and not herself. Probably spent a lot of her life belittling herself, never feeling she measured up to expectations, never enough. She pretended to be the \u201cgood girl\u201d she thought she had to be, less sensitive, fitting into others\u2019 molds. However, once she allowed herself to face her feelings, she was able to distance herself from those expectations and her fear no longer controlled her and she vowed to never go back to that way of feeling. So she declared she would let it go\u2026. And stop worrying about what others said about her. What a refreshing way to live!<\/p>\n

If you have ever been in an unhealthy, controlling relationship, you too know the weight of having to constantly mold yourself to fit into someone else\u2019s expectations. Sure there are some good times in the relationship, but often you hide behind your fake smile as you realize that you have betrayed yourself to please someone else. The abusive person makes you feel like you are flawed, needy, overly sensitive, and by gas lighting you, that it is entirely your fault. They make you feel like if only you would make changes, everything would be great. And the love you feel for them is real and powerful, and you ache for them to see you as worthy and love you back.<\/p>\n

Often, there comes a point in these unhealthy relationships where you realize that you can\u2019t continue. That time may come after a violent encounter, a constant period of arguments, or maybe after living this way for years, you just realize you can\u2019t take the belittling, heartache, and fear anymore and you recognize that no matter what changes you decide to make, it will never be enough and they will never be pleased. This is when many make the choice to reclaim their life.<\/p>\n

Marc & Angel Chernoff explain that process, \u201cThis is when you now realize you have to start doing things for the right reasons. Not because it\u2019s what you think everyone else needs, but because you finally know yourself to be worthy of your own love and care. Not because other people approve of you, but because you are breathing your own air, thinking your own thoughts, and occupying a space no one else ever could. Yes, you are indeed worthy! Your ideas are worthy. Your feelings are worthy. Your needs are worthy. And without everyone else\u2019s constant validation, you must be who you are and live your truth. Even if it makes people turn their heads. Even if it means walking alone down the path less traveled for a while. Even if your confidence in yourself has been shaken!\u201d<\/p>\n

Marc and Angel go on to remind us that the real battle is within. \u201cThe real battle is always in your mind. And your mind is under your control, not the other way around. You may have been broken down by adversity or rejection or stress, but YOU are not broken. So don\u2019t let others convince you otherwise. And don\u2019t let your mind get the best of you either. Heal yourself by refusing to belittle yourself. Choose to take up a lot of positive space in your own life today. Choose to give yourself permission to meet your own needs. Choose to honor your feelings and emotions. Choose to make self-love and self-care a part of your daily rituals\u2026 Choose to think better about yourself, so you can live better in spite of the challenges you face.\u201d<\/p>\n

Part of the healing process is sorting out and managing our feelings. Having a safe place with unbiased, trained crisis counselors can play a huge part in your healing. Crisis Services of North Alabama offers survivors of sexual assault and intimate partner violence those things along with other services that are free and confidential. You may reach our Jackson County Office at 256.574.5826 for an appointment. We also offer a 24\/7 HELPline where you can reach a trained crisis counselor at 256.716.1000. We hope you choose YOU and we\u2019re here to help. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Choose You By Teresia\u00a0 Smith Remember a few years ago when Frozen was the most popular kids movie and every little girl knew all the words to the song \u201cLet it Go\u201d and you could hear them singing it everywhere over and over? Have you ever actually read the lyrics and wondered what was being […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7529","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-shouldnt-hurt"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/test.theclarion.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7529","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/test.theclarion.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/test.theclarion.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/test.theclarion.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/test.theclarion.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7529"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/test.theclarion.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7529\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7530,"href":"https:\/\/test.theclarion.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7529\/revisions\/7530"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/test.theclarion.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7529"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/test.theclarion.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7529"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/test.theclarion.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7529"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}