{"id":12608,"date":"2024-02-27T13:45:55","date_gmt":"2024-02-27T19:45:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theclarion.org\/?p=12608"},"modified":"2024-02-27T13:45:55","modified_gmt":"2024-02-27T19:45:55","slug":"love-shouldnt-hurt-ever-149","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/test.theclarion.org\/?p=12608","title":{"rendered":"Love shouldn\u2019t hurt-ever"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dating Violence<\/strong>
\nby Teresia Smith<\/em><\/p>\n

While most dating relationships established during the teenage years don\u2019t last forever, they can often be looked back on with fond memories. But, according to the American Psychological Association (APA) more than 10 percent of high school students experience physical, verbal or emotional abuse in a dating relationship. This abuse puts the teens at risk of inflicted trauma, shame or psychological distress that can last into adulthood.
\n\u201cResearch consistently shows that traumatic experiences during adolescence can have direct and profound associations with both psychological and physical health issues,\u201d says Benjamin Maxwell, M.D., medical director of inpatient psychiatry at Rady Children\u2019s Hospital-San Diego and assistant professor for the Department of Psychiatry within University of California School of Medicine. \u201cImplications may include depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress and suicidal ideation, as well as an increased likelihood to develop an eating disorder, engage in risky behaviors or have abusive relationships in the future.\u201d<\/p>\n

One of the best ways to help prevent or stop dating abuse is to have the conversation with our teens. We need to arm our teens with knowledge to protect themselves and their friends.
\nAbuse can occur in all relationships, it can be from one or both partners and abuse doesn\u2019t only have to be physical. Other forms of abuse can be verbal, emotional, psychological, and sexual.
\nSome examples of abuse are:<\/p>\n

\u2022Verbal: calling you names, lashing out with insults, embarrassing you in public, yelling at you. This can also occur through text messages, email or on social media.
\n\u2022Emotional or psychological: belittling, telling your secrets or sharing private photos, isolation from other friends, demanding access to your passwords,
\nAngry when you spend time with others, keeping tabs on your whereabouts.<\/p>\n

\u2022Physical: Slapping, punching, pushing, grabbing, pulling hair, biting, throwing objects, using weapons, strangulation.<\/p>\n

\u2022Sexual (date rape or sexual coercion): Forcing, whether physically, verbally or both, an unwilling partner to participate in sexual activity. Engaging in what the APA calls \u201cemotional blackmail,\u201d such as saying, \u201cif you don\u2019t have sex with me, you must not actually love me,\u201d may be an early indicator.
\nWe must engage our teens with discussions about healthy relationships \u2014 the importance of consent, setting boundaries, understanding that abuse is more than physical violence, how to respectfully address and resolve conflicts \u2014before and during their first dating experiences. \u201cThis is a great opportunity to emphasize your role as a confidant and ally, go over \u2018if this, then that\u2019 scenarios, and ensure teens know they can come to you with questions or concerns,\u201d explains Dr. Maxwell.
\nIf your teen becomes a victim of an abusive dating relationship, there are some important steps you can take.<\/p>\n

\u2022First, listen to them and believe them. Many times they will be embarrassed and afraid you will be disappointed in their choices and that you will not believe them. Show them you love them and support them.<\/p>\n

\u2022Secondly, make sure your teen knows that abusive behavior is not okay and you are glad they came to you. Reinforce their self-worth and that they deserve better and they did nothing to cause the abuse.<\/p>\n

\u2022Thirdly, make a plan to help your child exit the abusive relationship. Ensure your teen\u2019s safety. Reach out for support. Each school has resources you can engage to ensure your child\u2019s safety on campus. If necessary, go to local law enforcement and ask for a restraining order.<\/p>\n

Teen dating violence is not a subject we like to address. However, having the conversation and making information available may save your teen from a heartbreaking situation. It can be all too easy for an abused teen to blame themselves for their partner\u2019s actions, or convince themselves their partner will change \u2014because they love them, because they didn\u2019t mean what they did, because abuse only happened once or only when they made them angry. Abuse is never, ever the fault of the victim. And, realistically, most abusers will not change. As caring adults, we can bring a heightened awareness and more conversations to the subject of dating violence and we can empower youth to understand the components of healthy love relationships and not settle for less.
\nIf you or a loved one are a victim of sexual assault or domestic violence, Crisis Services of North Alabama is here to help you. You may reach the Jackson County office at 256.574.5826 or our 24\/7 HELPline at 256.716.1000.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dating Violence by Teresia Smith While most dating relationships established during the teenage years don\u2019t last forever, they can often be looked back on with fond memories. But, according to the American Psychological Association (APA) more than 10 percent of high school students experience physical, verbal or emotional abuse in a dating relationship. This abuse […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12608","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-shouldnt-hurt"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/test.theclarion.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12608","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/test.theclarion.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/test.theclarion.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/test.theclarion.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/test.theclarion.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12608"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/test.theclarion.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12608\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12609,"href":"https:\/\/test.theclarion.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12608\/revisions\/12609"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/test.theclarion.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12608"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/test.theclarion.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12608"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/test.theclarion.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12608"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}